As a person in long term recovery from drugs and alcohol, I seek to become a better version of myself on a daily basis. As part of that process I talk to other people in recovery. During one conversation with my sponsor, she asked a simple question, “Why don’t you write”?
The year 2014 has been all about embracing life and choosing to say, “Why Not”?! Why would I not write? This is something I love and it is a great personal outlet. So, this blog is born. Here we go…
“The beginning” of this journey was really an end. On a Sunday night in October of 2011 I made a phone call that would change my life. After being “out” for several hours, searching for a high that wouldn’t come, I went to the home that I had known for the last three years. I was an opiate addict living in the basement of my then boyfriend’s parent’s home. Our welcome there was quickly fading and for the first time in what felt like forever, I became honest. I wanted to go home, to MY family. I wanted to get clean. I wanted to live, not just exist.
I was 500 miles away from my parents and brothers and even further from my sister. I had no job, no money, no phone and no car. I used the family’s phone to call my dad and by Thursday afternoon, He was there. He took me home… and then to treatment. This is the same treatment center that I had lied about being on a waiting list for for months to avoid reality (God has a great sense of humor). And so it began.
Opiate withdrawal is one of the most painful experiences I have been through, both physically and emotionally. By ten days in, I was ready to give up. I wanted to leave although I had no where to go. It took a lot of work from not only the amazing staff where I was, but from my dad. I stayed. I completed the program, but remained sick. It took another year and a half (and a whole lot of turmoil) before I fully surrendered.
Today, I have 476 days clean and sober. More accurately, I have 24 hours of sobriety before it all starts over again tomorrow. There is so much more to share about what happened between that day in October of 2011 and what happened the day that I surrendered… Even more so from that day to today, but it will all come, in time. For now, I end with this:
“No matter how many mistakes you make, or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying” -Unknown Author.